Early September in South Bend means only one thing, and that's a frenzy of football on an impossibly green field in 90° temperatures.

There's a right way and a wrong way to enjoy a game, and in this post I will attempt to guide you to the beginning of the path to the right way.

• When we have the ball be quiet, when we don't have the ball make noise.
• The noise mentioned above should begin as the opposing team huddles to call the next play.
• Loud stadiums help teams win games. You want to win, right?
• Seriously, the noise thing applies even to you. You may think, "Well, everyone else will make noise so I don't have to," or, "I'm above making any noise." 80,795 people make more noise than 80,794 people. Get the stick out of your ass and yell.
• The Wave sucks. Don't do it. Seriously, I fucking hate the wave.
• I can't stress the noise thing enough. If you don't make noise and we lose it is partially your fault.
• I don't care if you drink before the game, but if you're so wasted you can't enjoy the game give your ticket to someone who'll actually remember being there.
• Shut up when Sergeant Tim McCarthy does his announcement, usually at the beginning of the fourth quarter.
• Unless you're in the student section the ushers won't let you do point pushups. It sucks, but you'll only cause problems if you try. If you don't know what point pushups are, watch the student section after we score.
• We only have one rival. If you're not sure if a team is our rival, they're not.
• Treat opposing fans with respect. Even when they don't deserve it. Congratulate them if their team wins. They are our guests, and I want them to go home with an overall positive experience on campus (and a loss).
• If you ever have an extra ticket you sell it to an Irish fan for face value, no more.
• TV timeouts are about 20 minutes long. Find the official on the field (usually with an orange glove) and watch for him to wave his arm to signal they are ready to resume.
• If someone if front of you stands up to better see a play never tell them to sit down so you can see. If you need to see you stand up as well. If you can't stand you should be in the disabled section or be willing to have times when you can't see.

Amazingly I've actually had people ask me to sit down before a game starts. WTF?